Blessed

I had a pretty good weekend, which was long overdue after a weird week. Saturday night I went out with Kel for Steph's birthday. Kel and I were sort of the odd ones out, but we made it fun anyway. We went to Bdub's for dinner - douchebag central - and a man that was there making balloon animals made me a little dinasour! I was pretty stoked about it hah. After we left the restaurant, Kel and I went back to my apartment and just talked for a couple hours. It was really nice, she's one of the first people that I've really felt a connection with since I've moved here. We have a lot in common, and it was just refreshing to have a real conversation with someone.

On Sunday I went back to Marion to go up to Huntington for service with my mom. This is seriously always my favorite part of the week. That place is feeling more and more like home to me and I long to be involved in it, but currently I cannot be. I can't wait to move and be closer to everything. Heath talked about something this week and last that really opened my eyes. At one point he talked about letting God take control, because even when you don't let Him, He will anyways. My brother's life is living proof of that...he may as well have been swallowed by a whale. He also talked about something else that really hit me. We are so focused on me-ness, and what is good for us. Absolutely everything we do is because we get something out of it. We need to start "togethering" as he put it...together walking. We are on this journey together, God gave us other people for a reason. It's not good for us to be alone, we need other people to be around us and support us in our walk. In turn, togethering causes us to start caring for other people. We all should be pushing each other to grow, and in maturity we truly learn to care for those around us. We also need to be taking care of the people who have no one else to care for them - widows, immigrants, orphans, and single mothers. The people who literally have nothing to fall back on. It made me realize how incredibly selfish I've been. I always look at other people and their situations and say "They made their bed, they can lay it." While this is true, that doesn't mean that I shouldn't love those people with all my heart and do everything within my power to help them. I know that when the time comes that I'm in an unfortunate situation, I'll expect someone to come to my aid, but when I see other people in those circumstances I just turn my head and pretend nothing is happening...or I just sit and gawk, acting as if I have no ability to help. I'm getting so frustrated with my own behavior and those around me. Why is it so fucking hard to just love somebody. It's literally the hardest thing I've ever tried to do. It's so hard for me to be merciful to others, because I expect perfection. I'm learning more and more everyday to not only accept, but love the imperfections of others, seeing as I have so many of my own.

On a lighter note, I went up to Ft. Wayne Sunday night to hang out with Matt. It was so good to see him, he's someone I'm really comfortable around and we just chilled for a few hours and didn't really do anything of significance, but I still had fun. I also went to Ross's, at like 2:00 a.m. and ended up falling asleep like 45 minutes after I got there, I felt a little bad. Although, I slept better than I have in a really long time. Then, in the morning Ross made me some delicious waffles! It was all around a pretty great day. When I got back to Noblesville I chilled for awhile and Kelly came over and we baked some cookies and watched youtube videos. The ultimate weekend, really.

J is in the hospital and I hope he gets better soon. These things always make me nervous. :[

P.S. I got all kinds of new music on my iPod from Heath's computer, pretty excited about that...I've been in need of some new tunes. Woooo.