Update

I (once again) laid everything out for the very nice woman at Sallie Mae (who didn't even make me want to yell at her once). By some incredible miracle my payments have gone from $264/mo with 12% & 9% interest to $174/mo with 1% interest. Yes, you read that correctly: ONE PERCENT! The payment isn't ideal, but I'll take it. Especially because I no longer feel as though someone is shoving my head under water.