I've been so caught up with myself lately I haven't had time to really think of anyone else. I've been focused on what I want, what I need, what's going on in my life, that it's pretty sickening. Yesterday, Ethan had a show at the 509. I always forget how much I love hearing him play and sing until it actually happens. He warms my heart with his voice. Back to the point - his old band had a sort of impromptu reunion at the show. I've never heard them play together and I was blown away by their talent, it was such a good time. During the show, it hit me how much (specifically) two of the guys may be hurting. One of the guys, a good friend of Ethan's, is in the middle of divorcing his wife - whom he married 1 year & 1 day ago. They have been together for a total of 7 years. You think after that amount of time you know someone, until you don't, and you find out she's been with someone else. I literally cannot fathom what he must have felt when he first knew. Thinking about it made my heart hurt so much. Why do people hurt each other? You don't love him anymore - find ANY other way than cheating on him...like, oh, maybe not marrying him? But what do I know (a lot on this subject and divorce, actually).
On to the other guy - he is a mutual friend of Ethan & I, he has been at the 509 since Heath started there a little over 5 years ago. Recently he tried to take his own life. Thank God, he was unsuccessful. It's awful to realize someone is in so much pain when they can bring those around them so much joy. His quirky personality and contagious smile have always brightened my day. His generosity has brought opportunities to my brother that he may not have had otherwise. Every time I think about it my heart breaks, I want with everything inside of me for him to see himself the way everyone else does. But I suppose only time and God can make that happen. I guess my point is that, even though it's hard to not get caught up in yourself during the holidays - your plans, your gifts, your family, your friends, your wants - try to look at those around you and see where they are hurting and what you can do. Maybe it's nothing more than praying for someone, but let's always always always be aware of those around us, in every way we can. Thus ends my jumbled thoughts.
I have missed you, my dear, and your blogging. I hope things are going well with you and yours as Christmas nears! Also little Levi told me to tell you, he is anxious to meet this Aunt B that his older brother still occasionally mentions. :)
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