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3.22.2011

A couple weeks ago my step-mom, Cyndi's, niece took her own life. She had been involved with drugs, and more recently alcohol, her entire life. It stunted her cognitive development, her reasoning skills were skewed. Her logic was just a little off. She had a husband who adored her, a family who supported her, and still she let her past get the best of her. Selfishly taking her life - in their home, leaving her husband to find her and clean up the mess (literally). I see my brother heading down this same path. He finds fault with everyone else - he couldn't have possibly made his own situation, he's angry about everything. He has the personality of a 16 year old (interestingly enough, about the time he started being involved with all these things). I hope with every fiber of my being that he can turn himself around and leave all of this in the past, that he can rise above what he thinks he deserves. That he can see people aren't out to get him, they've just been exhausted by trying to help him for over a year when he doesn't want to help himself. I pray he doesn't meet the same end that Julie did, but it scares the hell out of me that he will. He's in a very dark place right now.