She's only happy in the sun..

Today was my idea of perfect weather. If it was like this every day of the year, I'm not sure I could ever be sad. With that said, I'm off to walk my baby boy...he needs to quit being so lazy.

Random

Mom, Mark, and I went up to Huntington last night to have dinner with Heath & Hillary for Mom's birthday. We had so much fun, it's nice to just sit and enjoy each other's company with no agenda. I realized last night that I'm probably going to totally lose it when they leave - seeing as how it's 2 months away. Buuuut, all is not lost. If Hill gets into Rutgers, I'll be driving out with her the end of August because her classes start before Heath's and I'll be flying out for my 21st birthday to celebrate it right in NYC :) I'm already starting to freak out a bit, but I'm so excited for both of them that it doesn't matter.

In other news, my room has become so atrocious that dear, sweet Anna is coming over after work to put her OCD to good use and help me clean. I'm so grateful...I can barely walk from my door to my bed.

Also, Heath made some black bean & corn wrap things last night and I love them. So much. I want to eat them everyday.

Lastly, I'll be flying on my first commercial flight ever in 8 days...but I'm so ready for a vacation that I don't have time to get nervous.

Me Ma

Today is her birthday, a good day to remember how much I love her. No matter what we've been through and how many times we just want to shake each other out of frustration, I couldn't ask for a better mom. She worked herself silly while I was growing up to make sure I had everything I wanted (pretty crazy when I look back on the kind of money she spent while still sending us to a private school). No matter what happened, no matter what rude remarks people chose to make to her under the circumstances, she NEVER let us know anything was wrong. She opened up our home to any and everyone that wanted to come over - with the promise of no judgment. She scraped up money to buy pizza and pop whenever we'd have friends at the house, often times keeping a stock full of Mountain Dew and Dr. Pepper. Most of my friends called her mom and still do to this day. I remember one situation in particular. I had made a friend on the cheerleading squad the summer before I went to MHS. She was a fun loving girl, who got into a situation and found herself pregnant. She'd only met my mom a couple of times, but as soon as she found out she asked if it'd be okay to go talk to my mom about it - because she knew she wouldn't be scolded, but loved. My mom is an incredible woman; she has taken her trials, whether self-made or God-given, and turned them into positives by learning and moving forward. I hope someday to become half the person she is.

the circle of your friends will defend the silver lining

I am around people all day long at work. I also meet friends of friends pretty often now that everyone I know is in college. The more I experience other people, the more thankful I am for the people in my life. I was blessed with some good ones.

The last thing

I want after a long day at work is small talk. Being bombarded by meaningless conversation drives me nutty. I engage in small talk ALL day at work - give me real conversation, please.

If I Could

I hate illness. I hate seeing leukemia suck the energy, and sometimes vigor, out of my long-time friend. I hate watching dementia turn my beloved grandmother into someone I can hardly communicate with. I hate it so much. I feel so incredibly helpless. I'm reminded that life is out of my hands; no matter how well I take care of myself, I'm guaranteed nothing physical. I'm humbled at the realization of how small my problems are, and how large I make them seem. It hurts to see people I love so much going through this. I wish, more than anything, I could take it all away.

Anne Lamott

put it best. In Traveling Mercies she says something along the lines of only being able to pray "Help me, help me, help me" at times. Right now is one of those times for me.

Also..

this is why I want one of these dogs.

Baby Headrest for French Bulldog @ Yahoo! Video

What has happened to me?

I've become one of those people who actually wants to work out. I've seen results and now I'm hooked, physical fitness is suddenly a priority. I'm not dreading being in my bathing suit for a week when I go to Florida. I don't hate it :)

LyKe OmG yOuRe SoOoO gAy!

Lately I've been more aware about the way people speak, which does little more than irritate me. I've gotten to a point where I usually just bite my tongue, arguments are tiresome and only leave one or both parties hurt and offended. I'm just getting really frustrated with it, though. Why is it less offensive to call someone gay or retarded than it is to call them a dumbass? Better yet, why have those words become our main insults? Can we really not be any more creative than insulting large groups of people in place of the word stupid? It kind of disgusts me at the type of people who say these words...people who "stand up for Jesus!" and even those I attend church with. If your beliefs are so strong wouldn't you think about the way you speak and act before you do so? Beliefs are hollow without a conscious way of life.

a Thank You card from April

A little something that brightened my day.

"Brittney, Thank you for the gift card! Also for coming to my shower. You are such a sweet girl who reminds me of myself ten years ago. I enjoy your presence and I am thankful for you! Love you, April."

What's the big deal? Well, the big deal is that April is someone whom I admire. Like I said in my previous post, everyone thinks the world of her - she is incredible to work for/with, generous, thoughtful, caring, etc etc etc. It brought a smile to my face to read this little card :)

I try

really, really hard every single day to be positive. It is natural for me to be pessimistic and cynical. I try with everything inside of me to forget my past and look towards the future. Everything has happened, or not happened, for a reason. I'm sick of holding things in and not just saying what I feel. I went to April's bridal shower today and at one point they had everyone in the room say their name, how they know her, and what they like most about her. EVERYONE had multiple great things to say about her - and no one said the same thing. It made me wonder what people would say about me in that situation. I like to think they would say I'm genuine, caring, kind, loving, generous, attentive, helpful, conscious..but I realize this may not be the case. Maybe they'd say I'm negative, hateful, sarcastic, rude, bitchy, critical, self-serving, insensitive. I'm not at all fishing for compliments, just really thinking about things. I want SO badly to change who I am..why does this have to be so hard?

With that said, have a lovely Saturday :)

The Beginning

Awhile ago, I talked about a program I was starting at Marion involving special needs & cheerleading. Well, we've started to get the ball rolling! Follow along on our journey here! I would totally love you if you did :) I promise it'll get more exciting to read as things progress.

"I don't believe that old cliché that good things come to those who wait. I think good things come to those who want something so bad they can't sit still." -Ashton Kutcher

bling by brittney

just kidding...but here's a look into my hobby. in advance, i apologize for the poor quality of the pictures. photography is not my forte, nor do i have a nice camera.

it started a few years ago, turning grandma's old pieces into new ones

it continued in high school when i took a jewelry class - cuff bracelet i formed/finished with a stone i cut/buffed/polished/etc

this is a keychain i made in the class...cut with a tiny hand saw

another piece from the class - a pin bearing my initials

awhile ago, dad & i started making watches together by combining our old scraps

my personal favorite from the watch collection

not exactly my style, but it was fun to make

i dance, do you?

My friend Amanda and her friend Molly are starting something called idance. I'm going to be apart of this - in the privacy of my own home, of course. Their blog explains it in much greater detail than I can, so check it out & join the revolution! :)